So you’re super excited about your wedding, but the bridal shower… not so much? Relax – it’s perfectly OK to skip this tradition if it’s not for you. The answer to how to say “no” to a bridal shower should be simple, right? If you don’t want a bridal shower, don’t have one — but in reality it’s not always that simple. Because bridal showers are so common it can be a tricky situation to say no to a bridesmaid or family member who’s offered to throw one for you, or to give answers to everyone else who asks “when’s the shower?” So here’s how to approach the whole not-having-a-bridal-shower situation.
Image: Emily Blake Photography
Start gently spreading the message that you’d rather skip this tradition. Do this and you’ll avoid not just questions, but also any possibility of hurt feelings because VIPs will know they weren’t excluded from the bridal shower — you just aren’t having one. Have your parents let their families know and ask your bridal party spread the word to friends.
Don’t be shy about your reasons for not wanting a bridal shower. It’s your wedding, so you don’t have to make excuses (unless you want to). You’ll put the point to rest faster if you don’t try and dodge it with vague explanations of “bad timing.” Your friends will likely understand if you say “I’m just not that into bridal showers,” and back off immediately, but the same may not be true for your family members of a different generation who may see it as an important right of passage and an essential wedding event. So all you can do is explain your point of view and stand firm, and everyone else will come around.
Do something completely different. If a would-be-host insists and you’d be comfortable with a get-together that’s not necessarily a bridal shower you could throw out some alternative pre-wedding party ideas. It’s likely that the reason they’re so insistent is because they just want the chance to spend some more time with you and don’t want you to miss the opportunity to feel like the guest of honor. These days bridal parties take all forms and could be anything, from a small gift-less family-only lunch to an afternoon champagne picnic.
Tell us, Knotties – are you planning to have a bridal shower?
by Simone Hill