- November 19, 2013 at 10:12 am #425949
I’m not sure if this is the best place to post this, but I didn’t think it was appropiate for the beauty as it is a concern/grievance as opposed to thoughts and ideas.
I’m getting married in April, 2014, and it is an international wedding. I’m not stressed about the marriage/ever after part, my partner and I already live together, have bought a house, share finances, etc. The wedding is kind of just a space in which to create memories for us, but we already feel married.
My anxiety is stemming from how I’m going to look, and everyone judging me, and the fear that I will not be able to reconcile the problematic expectations a woman is faced when she gets married regarding beauty. I am absolutely terrified about walking down the aisle where everyone can see me, I’m terrified about the photos, I’m starting to realise that maybe having a wedding was not the best idea for me and my condition of BDD/Endos. I see a nutrionist and therapist, but as we get closer to the date, the more anxious I become. I’m starting to wish that we had eloped, or just did a quiet registry’s office wedding, no photos, no people looking at me.
And I know that it’s not about being beautiful, that that ideology is a flawed concept, that getting married is not going to be the only important day of my life, it is just one of many. But I can’t help the feeling of dread that I will be a terrible looking bride, and even though I shouldn’t care what others think, that there is much more to me than how I look that is more important, that my partner is marrying me for me, and not for how I look, that my life is not dependent on said partner…. it sits there in the back of my head.
For those who have just been married, or about to get married, who have had similar concerns about how they look, how have you coped? What advice can you give?December 4, 2013 at 5:13 pm #427145
Sorry for my ignorance – what is BDD/Endos?
I think most people (no matter how they look) get anxious about looking the best they can on their wedding day. My wedding is 2 weeks away and I’m trying not to stress just so my skin will look nice on the day – which is stressing me out! haha. But seriously, I can tell you with 100% honesty that even people you think look perfect usually don’t think that about themselves. We all have hang-ups about how we look, whether other people realise it or not.
I think you already know that clearly your Fiance loves you (and I’m willing to bet, thinks you’re beautiful already) and if your wedding is full of your friends and family, people who love you, no-one should be judging you anyway.
I know it’s easier said than done and I don’t have too many concerns in this area, however, I know my sister was very nervous about people looking at her and judging her at her wedding, because she’s a dwarf, and her Husband is very very tall! And honsetly, everyone thought she looked amazing. Because she did, because you know what? Brides usually look amazing, not just because they have their hair and make-up done etc, but because they are RADIANT. They are happy, they are smiling, they are IN LOVE, and that makes you beautiful. I promise.
Walk down the aisle, hold your head up high and look directly at your Fiance – don’t worry about what anyone else is thinking (and I bet they’re not thinking anything other than she looks gorgeous). Have a smily on your face and your eyes sparkling – you will look great.
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