To invite or not invite?!

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  ExcitedBrideToBe09 3 years, 10 months ago.

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    I’m wondering if anyone else has invited some family members and not others to their wedding? I have 2 uncles who both have treated my younger brother badly (over something stupid and over 4 years ago) plus one of the uncles does not like my mother ever since my parents split. Mu dad has 5 sibilngs 2 sisters and 2 brotherS, want to invite the 2 sisters and 1 of the brothers only, my reasoning is due to the way the other 2 have acted and still do towards my mother and brother (my mum said she personally wouldn’t like one of them around at all) whos happiness i believe is far more important. Neither of these 2 have done anything bad towards me, so im struggling with the guilt of picking and choosing, 1 I don’t particularly want to invite and the other I could but I’m unsure. I am only inviting 2 of my cousins but I don’t feel bad about this, as I’m only inviting the ones I speak to frequently. We have attwnded family funerals but in the background it was always a bit awkward, i dont particularly want that on my wedding day even though I’d hope nothing would happen.  My question is has anyone been in a similar situation? Do I invite them with the thought they’ll more than llikely not attended? 


    3 brothers*


    I’m in a similar situation myself and am leaving certain relatives off our guest list. My parents are also not together any more and there is a lot of bitterness between the two sides of the family, to the point that my Dad is refusing to attend if my uncle will be there. He is being petty and selfish, but at the end of the day I would rather have my Dad there than my uncle. I am balancing the scale by only inviting one of my Dad’s siblings, as I am not really close with the others.
    It is a hard decision to make to cut family members from the guest list but my fiancee and I spoke about it at length and decided that if we were going to ruffle feathers either way then we may as well do what we want. We are hoping to keep out wedding on the small and intimate side of the scale, so have that line to use as an explanation of sorts, but I’m still terrified of what my grandparents will have to say about our choice.
    Are you planning on keeping your guest list relatively small or is that excuse not going to fly for you? Wishing you luck. Relatives often seem to be the harshest life critics.


    Hi Gordonandgold, 
    I am happy I am not alone in this! It sounds as though you have come up with a logical solution, hopefully your grandparents won’t cause you grief. Good luck to you too! 
    Ive had a think about it over night and think I may possibly invite them (a little late?) and hope they won’t make the effort, im still deciding luckily for me I have another month or so to decide on them. The stress of it all was getting to me so for now im ok with this idea but im still not 100% as my mum has said it would make her uncomfortable but would deal with it but did say i wouldnt be spending my night with them (which is true, there’ll be far more important people) we’re having a destination wedding and hoping to keep our numbers down as we’re only inviting our close family and friends so it’s fair to say they’re on the bottom of the list. 
    Ahh families why must they act in certain ways to make life hard for others. 



    You already know that they are going to be upset and not being invited to a wedding is a big deal for some. So can you deal with it if they stop speaking to you as well? 
    I personally am not inviting any of my mothers family because she does not have a lot to do with them and she has put her foot down about her own mother not being there. I know it will cause big issues with my nana, but I know she wouldn’t be able to help herself and would deliberately try to make everyone uncomfortable. 
    Good luck. 


    Hi ladies, I found out last night that my fiance doesn’t intend on inviting any of his extended family! He doesn’t want any of his friends (so-called) there either, so it will only be my side. He is inviting his mother and her partner, but won’t be inviting her two siblings and their spouses. I know he’s not close with his family at all, and actually doesn’t like going to see him mother, but I didn’t think he’d be so against them coming to the wedding. (I have a feeling his mother will be inviting them behind our backs anyway). But he honestly wouldn’t care if they never spoke to im again, so I guess if you don’t care about the repercussions then don’t invite them. It really depends on how important it is to include family or not and how this might affect the rest of your family. Having a destination wedding will certainly help…


    Hi girls,
    I’m  thinking I should take a time out and decide a bit later. I thought About being the bigger person and inviting them but I need to think about how I would feel if they decided to come. 
    I wish us all the best of luck! Why must family be so hard!!


    Hi ExcitedBride, I think a break is a great idea. I’m taking a couple weeks off from the venue problem and I’ve found it’s helped. I can’t stop thinking about the wedding, but instead I look up rings and dresses. I plan on booking myself a massage this week some time to help relax. I would definitely recommend doing the same, just to get rid of some tension. maybe a facial as well? A facial before the wedding is great for the skin, so I’ve heard.


    Hi Emeraldbride, time out and a massage or facial sounds great. I also have heard facials are good, im not too sure how close you have them though. Dresses and rings are much better to look at and so much more fun!! No wonder women lose weight leading up to their wedding, stress! I’m happy that there are forums like this where I can vent and get unbiased advice. 

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