To elope or not to elope??

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Just engaged 3 years, 11 months ago.

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    Hi there,
    My fiancee and I are both English but live in Australia with lots of wonderful friends. However, our families and other wonderful friends all live in the UK (with a couple of close family friends in the US). We’re really stuck as to what to do for a wedding. We’d ideally like to elope with our parents and brothers (x2) to the Ice Hotel in Sweden. For us this would be the experience of a lifetime, we’d get to spend a fantastic holiday with our close families and we also feel Sweden is far away enough to justify not inviting anyone else and will help keep our costs down. As with so few people –  a lot of wedding trappings become less important – food, flowers etc. We would still like to celebrate with our friends and extended family but would prefer to have a low key dinner/party/drinks in London and Sydney respectively.
    However – a lot of our familes and friends have put the pressure on as they’d like to be part of whatever we do and are willing to travel etc. This causes a bit of a problem as we don’t want to invite only the people who are willing to travel and can afford to do so. Especially as some of our close family members (my 95 year old Grandpa) can’t travel or some of our close friends can’t afford it. – I also wouldn’t want to alienate our Aussie friends if some of our English friends could make it to Sweden etc etc.
    My fiancee and I would both prefer to use our joint savings on a house deposit rather than a wedding but don’t want to put people’s noses out of joint. For us, the logistics of getting everyone in the same place is impossible and we also don’t want to spend our house deposit having 3 separate celebrations. 
    Has anyone experienced anything similar and does anyone have any good suggestions?
    I’d love to hear from you! 



    I would recommend that you suit yourselves. I’m all for compromising, but this is a Big Deal for you guys. It sounds like you both know what your priorities are, and to spend so much money on a wedding you don’t really want – only because other people have put the pressure on – would be a waste.
    Everyone loves going to a wedding, but they won’t be offended if you elope. You already want a party in London and Sydney, so you will give your family and friends a chance to celebrate with you – and that’s all that should matter.


    Hi Just Engaged, I would definitely say go for eloping. If it’s going to be the experience of a lifetime then I would definitely take it! For all those who really want to be involved just explain that you’re having a small wedding because you really want to put the extra money towards a house deposit. Many people would understand. Also, maybe you could just have a low key celebration when you return. Maybe hire a hall and ask for everyone to bring a dish/drink and no presents. That way all your friends can still feel involved and you won’t be having to spend so much money on the wedding.



    Hi there, 
    Well, it sounds like there are two logical solutions for you:
    1) Do your Ice Hotel elopement and then low key party in both London and Au as you wish or:
    2) Do a low key wedding in London and invite those from Au and they can attend if they want to. I know you don’t want to spend cash on a wedding over a house- but if you are going to have a reception as such back in London anyway then it likely won’t cost a lot more to have a low key wedding and reception in one than the cost to elope plus reception-ish party on return. 
    Personally I would do a low key wedding in London and go to the Ice Hotel for a honeymoon if possible, then do a party to celebrate when back in Aus. – it involves as many people as possible and you can always go to the Ice Hotel another time :)
    In any case I would suggest definately do two things- 1) celebrate on your return to Aus with friends, and 2) also see if there is a way to live stream your celebration over the net by using a password so those who can’t attend can still be involved. Friends of ours did this when they married in Canada and it was great! Friends from all around the world went online at the specified time and had champagne in hand and watched online by providing the password the couple had set up- then they had a party on their return to Aus.


    Thanks to you all for replying! I’m really greatful to get some unbiased and helpful advice. Much appreciated. Thank you. Xx

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