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Tattoo- polite way to ask her to cover up?

Home Forums Bothered brides Tattoo- polite way to ask her to cover up?

This topic contains 10 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  jsbride 3 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #412501

    Kate Maree
    Member

    One of my Bridesmaids has got a tattoo over the weekend right down the front of her leg.. It is massive and goes from her knee to her ankle. This is a problem because we’re having a Catholic ceremony (read: concervative and formal). The dresses we’ve picked are knee length so it’s going to be on show. We’re 3 months out from the wedding and there was no indication that she was going to do this. Whilst I respect that it’s her body and her choice, I feel really hurt and upset that she’s gone ahead and done this at this point in time. Is there a polite way to ask her to cover it up with concealer and stockings?

    #412695

    I would not ask her to cover it up. This is now part of her forever. 
    My BM has a few on both of her sholders. She asked me if I wanted her to cover them up. 
    I told her I dont mind as this is part of her now. 
     
     
     

    #412709

    Kate Maree
    Member

    Not asking her to cover them up isn’t an option.. I just need suggestions on how to ask politely. I don’t mind if she’s shows it off at the reception, but it needs to be covered for the ceremony. 

    #412829

    Well just ask her straight up. It that simple. 
     
     
    Dermablend from Priceline is one o the best for covering tattoos. 
     
    You will one of two answers 1) she will say sure ok 2) won’t like it and say no. 
     
    You also need to understand that this is what she wanted and maybe she did not want to wait till after your wedding as its her body and no one else’s. 
     
    Also if you really hate it maybe change her dress to long of find a new BM. 

    #412967

    jsbride
    Member

    There is no way to ask politely really, so you just have to take the chance and explain the whole story honestly, but I wouldn’t blame her for being upset.
     
    I don’t believe a Catholic ceremony is grounds for covering a leg tattoo, unless you have the world’s most conservative priest from the 17th century. It’s not like he’s going to stop the ceremony when she walks in because he doesn’t agree with her tattoo.

    #413465

    Belle_82
    Member

    Hi Kate Maree 😉
    I think if you are honest with her and tell her you would love for her to show it off at the reception but as the ceremony is very conservative (and I’m guessing in a church) that you would feel more comfortable if she could wear stockings just for that part of the wedding. You’ve chosen her to be your BM I can only assume because she’s one of your closest friends, and if your BM’s are anything like mine they would completely understand because they know that this is YOUR day. She may get upset but it’s not like you’re asking her to get laser removal on it, it’s just to cover it for half an hour.
    You could also get a lovely photo of the two of you together with her tattoo showing and give that to her as her ‘thankyou card’.
    I have many tattoos and I love them but I have picked a dress that does not show any of them (except the little one that I have on my back which I would actually like to have covered for the day)!
    I wish you all the best, but just be honest with your friend and I’m sure she will understand!

    #413683

    Kittikats
    Member

    Hello Kate Maree,
     
    I suggest being straight with her but then be nice and complimetary about after the ceremony.
     
    E.G.
    “Because the ceremony will be in a church they will need you to cover up your tattoo for the ceremony. But I would love to see it in our photos and think of how much of a great conversation starter it will be at the reception for all the people you haven’t met yet like FH friends / hot friend.”
     
    Focus on the positives of it and downplay the negatives.
     
    Also Jsbride some houses of worship are very conservative and don’t allow things like uncovered shoulders (so no strapless gowns) so a large and visable tattoo would be a big deal to them.

    #413723

    jsbride
    Member

    I’m fully aware of the Catholic Church’s ways and at no point will the priest ask ‘does any member of your bridal party have a visible tattoo’ nor will they stop the ceremony if they notice a tattoo. My point was that this is not their request, it is the bride’s request. 

    #413921

    Kittikats
    Member

    And my point is if it is truly the brides request then she would require her bridesmaids tattoo covered up for the whole wedding, not just the ceremony.
     
    It could be that the church she is getting married is is very conservative or the priest conducting the ceremony is very conservative as you pointed out in an earlier post.
    It could be that this is Kate Marees regular church and she knows that visable tattoos greatly upset/offend the priest in question.
     
    In either case what she asking for not overly unreasonable, and could even be part of her bridesmaid gift to her (sexy stockings and garters she can use after the day).
     
    My advice is for Kate Maree to be straight with her bridesmaid and turn the unveiling of the tattoo into a huge positive and perhaps present said bridesmaid with sexy stockings as her bridesmaid gift and maybe matching sexy underwear.
     
    I was not attacking you, jsbride, rather pointing out something we as brides regard as minor (I mean strapless bridal gowns are the most common I see) can be regarded as a big deal in that setting as could a large tattoo.
     
    I’ve been to some churches which are quite casual in their dress code and others much more formal.
     
    It all depends on the church in question.

    #414011

    you can’t for somepne to do something just because you are the bride.
     
    Yes its your day but this does not mean you tell people what to do. 
    God I have had so many things not go my way as wanting my BM to do stuff like stay at a hotel on the hens night but one bm wont for god knows why. Does not mean I have to force her to stay because im the bride. 
     
     

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