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Stress and Fighting

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  melpinksparkle 3 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #419903

    Hi. It is 7 weeks till our wedding and lately we have done nothing but fight. We are both under a lot of stress, other than the planning of the wedding, but 2 nights ago we were fighting over something trivial and my fiance said “the wedding is off” and stormed off. He later appologised and we have since talked through some things, but I can’t get past the feeling that we should be euphoria that we are about to be married, but instead we are stressed to the max and fighting. My question is, is this normal stress, or are we doomed before we have even started? Honest thoughts appreciated.

    #420159

    I think its 100% normal. 
     
    I have also been fighting with my soon to be hubby. Less then 2 weeks ago. 
    It has been super hard fr me as I am doing everything FH has helped a little but some things are for me to deal with. So I have been under somuch stress that a few months back I was in hospital and got sick due to stress. 
     
    We have been fighting over little things and I think most is due to me. 
    Now we are happy and everything is pretty much done and all payed off :) 
    Don’t stress about fighting as like I said I think is 100% normal. 
     
    xxx

    #420233

    Alkv
    Member

    Completely normal! You definitely aren’t doomed! My Fiance and I are getting married in 8 weeks and up until a month ago, we had been fighting a lot more than we usually do. We have also been having a lot of issues with both of our families regarding the wedding, which was taking it’s toll on our relationship. One night my fiance also said the wedding is off!!! Since then we have been talking through things a lot more and we have started to take a step back and look at the big picture. Instead of letting something upset me and start a fight, now I have started to pick my battles and ask myself if it’s something that will really matter in 10 years time.
    I am organising most of the wedding myself (with very little help from family and my fiance) and hadn’t really asked for much input from anyone else, however the last few weeks I have been including my fiance a lot more and giving him little jobs to do, without trying to stress him out too as he works long hours. I have also stopped talking about the wedding so much unless it is highly necessary, as I know all the wedding talk was starting to take over our relationship. Remember that you are getting married because you love each other and that in the end stressing out doesn’t actually achieve anything.
    Good luck, I’m sure that everything will calm down as the day draws closer and that you will have a beautiful wedding day :-)

    #420341

    Jennaya88
    Member

    I too think it’s normal. Just after we got engaged my fiance and I were fighting a lot more than usual. I think part of it is the stress of planning (and paying for) the wedding, but I also think subconciously we were testing each other out before making the big committment. 

    #420419

    Agreed, sounds like the stress of it all!

    #420421

    Thanks so much ladies. Makes me feel a bit better. I feel like I have done nothing but wedding stuff for the past 9 months. We haven’t done things like dinner or movies cause we “had better save for the wedding”. My fiancé has been back at uni full time (5 subjects just to keep life interesting) and working practically full time. I bought a business and have been trying to organise the wedding and on top of that we were trying to buy a house. He tries to help but is so worn out. I’ve been trying to get everything done of an evening so we can have a break on weekends, but I’m stressing cause I’ve still got so much to do. Thanks again for making me feel better. The stress puts doubt in your mind that things won’t get better once the stress is gone. 

    #420425

    Engaged2012, stress affects my mood massively.
    when we first got engaged I was in a horrible job and we were searching for our own home and we fought a lot. My mood and our fighting improved massively when I changed jobs and we bought our home.
    the having to save(I know the feeling) is also hard. In the 18 months we’ve been engaged wepaid for half our wedding, FH bought a very nice engagement ring and bought our first place, struggled through our first year of a mortgage, continued to pay of FHs car and both changed jobs.
    we didn’t get a lot of going out or spending money and some weeks were down to the wire! My clothes are old and we need a lot of new things that have to wait till after the wedding but there is light at the end of the tunnel… Just a few weeks to go and we won’t have a wedding to pay for (too bad we will still have all the household bills)
    the last bit can be hard but soon you’ll be married and have more time and money :)

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