Stepmother ruined everything

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  JessicaFay 2 years, 9 months ago.

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    I get married on Friday. I’m having a tiny wedding.
    My dad lives interstate. He recently remarried and has access with my younger siblings from his previous marriage.
    Basically his current wife has informed my nan a week before the wedding that they would not be coming down for my wedding, my siblings are basically banned from being at my wedding, the one day I figured I could count on getting a full family photo.
    My nan is going to take a stand against dad at his next custody hearing, this was the final straw.
    I’m trying to stay positive but I need to let dad know I’m really hurt by this. How do I do this without giving his new wife information that can be used to ban me from seeing my siblings?



    This might be a tough question, but is your mother still around? It’s just that the start of your question gave me the impression that your father only has visitation rights and the end of it sounded more like he has permanent custody. Where do your siblings spend the majority of their time? If your father only has visitation rights, he is no position to ban you from seeing your siblings – that is the right of their primary carer. And even if your father has permanent custody, your step mother is not in any legal position to ban you from seeing your siblings (this would have to be done by your father).
    As for how you should go about letting your father know how you feel, I would just call him. Try to call his mobile or at a time when you are pretty sure he will answer the phone so that you can avoid speaking with your step mother. A telephone call is not in writing, so it’s not like they can use what you say against you later (it’ll instead be a matter of he said, she said). Ask him why they decided not to attend the weddin, and why they decided not to tell you and instead let you hear it from your grandmother. No matter what sort of answer he gives, I would be saying that you are still incredibly hurt by this decision and that you don’t understand what you have ever done to deserve this lack of support.

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