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so very disheartened :'(

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Mrs. Bum 3 years ago.

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  • #426191

    hi brides,
    I have spent months and months planning my red retro polka dotted wedding, spending hours in opshops, on Pinterest & etsy for inspiration and hand making invites/photobooth props etc. I was so rrudiculously excited for my fiancé & is special day, until….
    my dad said i am going to make a fool of myself :(
    he asked why can’t I be traditional and no one will like my theme. I feel totally crushed and embarrassed. I have worked so hard for this wedding and now I feel like a fool. all I wanted was a short dress but I went for tradition and have a long dress, and I wanted a cinema ceremony but went for the church. I tried so hard to give my dad these 2 important wedding traditions but it’s obviously not good enough
    :there is nothing i want less than a wedding that looks like everyone else’s but i just feeling  totally devastated & just wanted to get it out. :(

    #426194

    Kittikats
    Member

    Hello Future Mrs S,
     
    This might come off as harsh but FORGET YOUR FATHER!
     
    This is your wedding, not his.
     
    The best weddings are the ones where it is totally the bride and groom. Where it is a party that is all about them and showcases their uniqueness / tastes.
     
    So a fully traditional wedding suits ccouples who are into that and have been planning this since forever.
     
    But not you.
     
    Plan the day you want and when he says “why can’t you be traditional” turn it back on him:
     
    Why can’t you be supportive? What are you afraid off? My partner and I are happy with this as is anyone who really knows us. So what is your real problem?
    This is a day about the relationship between my partner and I and if you are concerned that someone won’t like it, then tough.
     
    Go ahead with your plans, make it your day. People will appreciate that it is your day and while a few eyebrows might be raised, they will love the day because they love you.
     
    Incidentally I love your wedding ideas and what you are doing.
     

    #426287

    thankyou kittikats, your reply brought tears to my eyes. i really appreciate it and will definietly take your advice when talking to him, will keep you all posted!

    #426295

    i agree w/ kittykats !!! it’s YOUR special day and you should do what you want to do to make you and your hubby to be HAPPY ! he should be supporting your choices even though he wouldn’t do the same… that’s what you do w/ family and friends ! you might not agree w/ their ideas but you support them ! especially on a wedding day when it is about you, your hubby and your happiness together ! stick to your guns !

    #426356

    Chin up, I think it’s great that you are showing off your style and personality.  You have already compromised with two very big parts of the day…now you just let your true personality shine through with your retro theme. It sounds fun! 
    Older generation can be funny sometimes but can guarantee that while a few ppl might think its a bit different the majority will love it! Why? Because they love YOU and your fiancé and it will reflect your personalities. Let us know how you go x
     
     

    #426628

    KateD5
    Member

    Hi Mrs S,
     
    My future sister-in-law had a wedding similar to yours. Polka dot themed, red glittery heels, 50’s style, no flowers (button bouquets) and no veil, with a lawn wedding.
    Her mother in law (my future MIL) was not happy leading up to the wedding, slightly upset that it wasn’t ‘traditional’, and had no flowers and ‘how was that going to look?”
     
    Of course, the wedding was gorgeous and the MIL had a great time and enjoyed it very much. These days, she tells me what a beautiful wedding it was.
    Don’t let family get you down – make it your day and they will love it regardless!!

    #426723

    Mrs. Bum
    Member

    I have had similar situations with my Daddy-O busting my bubble about some of my wedding plans, and with every critisism he made, I thought about it to see if perhaps he had a point. Sometimes he did, other times he was just being a fuddy-duddy (or daddy as the case may be :-P) and being a stickler for “tradition”.
    I think what you’re doing is great. It’s your wedding, do it your way.
    Even at the most traditional of weddings, it is quite common that Dad gets the back seat until the big day. While you and Mum are probably bustling around going to fittings, florists, cake tasting etc.  Dear O’l Dad might feel a little left out and maybe the modern swing on you wedding is making him feel even more-so because he doesn’t know what’s appropriate, or maybe feels out of touch. It could even be, while selfish, Dad processing that his little girl is grown up and her wedding day is looming. That’s big stuff for a Dad!!
    Maybe you could involve him a little more so he feels more included and his feelings may change when he sees how excited you are about your theme.
    If he is just being a mood-hoover then take no notice, it’s your and your partner’s day so as long as the two of you are happy, don’t worry!!
    Best of Luck, Congratulations and Enjoy!! :)
    Mrs. Bum (Jess)
     
     

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