Planning Challenges

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    I’m doing an assignment and I’m trying to find out what the three biggest challenges brides are having in the planning of their Wedding. I would really love your help and really appreciate any responses from brides currently arranging their special day.



    Well, mine would have to be:
    – Choosing the bridal party (I have 2 sisters, my partner has 3 and I have 2 very close girlfriends; it just seems to be getting out of hand!)
    – Navigating the murky waters of my parents separation (dad is remarried, mum isn’t; do we invite my step mum’s family or not; etc etc)
    – Finding a venue (my partner keeps turning down all my suggestions either on the basis they are too expensive or he doesn’t like them – but he offers no suggestions of his own!)
    I hope these are the kinds of challenges you were looking for, they were just the three that sprung to mind when I read your question (and definitely the three biggest for me personally).


    Music was a big challenge for me. My FH and I are very fussy with music taste and originally were not going to have a band because of this. We were going to do our own music with an ipod or something but then decided on a DJ, then changed our minds and decided to find a band (3 weeks our from the wedding). Luckily we found one we like which was a bit cheaper than other bands we looked at and didn’t like as much.
    Another challenge for me has been lack of enthusiasm from family and inlaws. Everyone is happy we are getting married but I felt I really had to chase people to help me with organising stuff. I am not the kind of person who demands the spotlight all the time (unlike certain people in my FH’s family) but wish some people would have made a bit more of a fuss.
    The biggest two challenges have been managing the budget and having enough time. There are so many hidden cost and so many little things you don’t think of that cost money and take up time.


    Thanks so much for your responses Jessica Fay and Autumn Snow. The personal stuff with friends and families seem to be quite common and I wish you both all the very best moving forward. Is there anything to do with the physical planning that would have made things easier for you? (like choosing cakes, cars, invites and all of that kind of thing) so that stress was minimised and you were better able to cope with the family, FH and friends issues that arose?



    I’m not sure how relevant my answers are as w we’re not a “traditional” couple (2 women) but after chatting with my fiancée I think our 3 highest challenges would be:
    1) Seating/guests: Deciding who should sit with who; trying to predict family issues and preventing any drama
    2) Discrimination: Lack of knowledge, awareness and just plain idiocy impact us in a number of ways.  Having to ask the same stupid questions,  getting  refused service, being treated differently and the issue of not being able to confirm a date until we’re legally allowed to marry (which makes planning so stressful and upsetting).
    3) Catering: Choosing the right place, some places only work with one caterer, not knowing enough to know who’s good before-hand (and the well known ones always have outrageous prices). Also, so many places won’t cater to a lot of allergens (some will offer vegetarian options, and occasionally gotten free. But I’m soy intolerant and my fiancée is lactose intolerant so that’s a bit useless for us).
    And an extra,  because AutumnSnow reminded me: Budget as well,  people see ‘Wedding’ and jack up the price! The little things add up, and so many services are incredibly overpriced.



    Answer* the same stupid questions.
    Sorry,  auto-correct, and I haven’t figured out how to edit posts on this forum.



    I have actually found the physical planning to be quite easy (that’s probably not the right word…easier to get on top of?). I have planned numerous events for friends and family (this is my first wedding, however!) so organisation is something that comes easily to me – I manage to split my time very well between all the things I need to do, I make appointments, I know exactly what I want in terms of decor and invites, etc etc.
    It’s also been made easier by the fact that my sister is an apprentice pastry chef (she has very kindly offered to make our wedding cake) and works in a cafe/restaurant/bakery, so she can help out with choosing good caterers and has a very good mind for calculating how much people will eat/drink. 



    Relatively smooth sailing for me at this stage but there are a few points that I can contribute to your list (which follow the same theme)…
    – mum want to be more involved than I’d like (my sister got married last year and mum was highly involved as my sister doesn’t really have friends, plus sister wanted a DIY wedding without having any skills to complete that look so mum managed everything), its taken me a while to break it to her that she won’t be dress shopping with me as that’s where I want my friends to be involved, etc
    – my sister expected to be in the bridal party as I was in hers last year, however as I already mentioned she doesn’t really have friends so had limited options. I said yes to being in her bridal party out of obligation but we aren’t exactly close and we certainly wouldn’t have anything to do with each other if we weren’t so closely related. I detoured around this by having her get her hair/make-up done at the same place and same time as the bridal party so she at least feels involved.
    – manipulated cousin on my FH’s side. FH wants him to be a groomsman but the cousin says he won’t turn up unless his kids are invited and that his youngest needs to be in the bbridal arty. Absolute blackmail but I’ve given up fighting with my FH about it and just given in (as much as it eats me up on the inside!)
    pgood luck with your project! :)



    Aside from the family fun, I found choosing a veil to be a challenge, as there just wasnt a lot of information about it. When I bought my dress I didn’t think I wanted one, but later changed my mind. And then had no idea how to get the best one. Or where to get it from. As I wasn’t looking at dresses the shop ladies were too busy for me. Online info talked about tiers, length and cut. But nothing about fabric or colour matching. 



    I haven’t found anything ‘challenging’ as such. I think maybe the most stressful thing was picking ‘the best of the best’ vendors and suppliers and then trying to justify the cost (we managed to, of course!). I’ve been swinging between hating the amount of money we’re spending and knowing that it will all be worth it.
    But nothing too difficult, I guess. Oh, and cutting people off the guest list to keep it small.

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