No groomsmen…

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  EmeraldBride 3 years, 10 months ago.

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    No groom attendants but two bride attendants? Have you ever come across this before? So, if you’ve read my forum about family/wedding issues in ‘knot help’, you’ll know that my fiancé and I are completely scrapping the traditional expectations of the wedding and doing what we want instead. We’ve decided we’re not going to have a reception, but when I mentioned yesterday that I have two attendants so he needs two he grimaced and says he can’t think of even one. He doesn’t have many friends, and none of them are extremely close, so he doesn’t feel like he wants any of them as groomsmen. I was a bit upset at first but later I was thinking about it and thought if we’re doing the wedding our way then why bother? If he doesn’t want any attendants then does he have to have them? It really doesn’t change our wedding in the slightest. I think the only people who might have a problem are my family (who I am fed up with) and maybe a couple of his friends. But I’m completely sick of having to do what’s expected instead of what we want. Why should he be forced into having groomsmen? Anybody else seen someone without attendants?



    If you’re not going traditional anyway then of course it wouldn’t matter! I couldn’t imagine not having people around me but if his personality suits preparing for the day and getting ready alone then it’s the right choice for him. Good luck!


    Hi, he just doesn’t want groomsmen. He does have friends, a couple from high school and on from work, but he says he just doesn’t feel they’re close enough to ask to be a groomsman. I couldn’t imagine being alone either, but I’m a very social person whereas my fiance isn’t. So I honestly don’t think he needs any groomsmen if he doesn’t want to. Although I had wanted 7 people in the bridal party (I have a thing for 7) so I guess I’ll have to get used to it.


    No it’s not weird at all, like everyone on here says, it’s your day, do what you want and makes you happy! FH and I started off with 2 attendants each, then that dropped down to 1 each, now we’ve decided to ditch it all together. EVERYONE thinks this is strange and likes to tell us this isn’t how things are meant to be done (you’ve already read my post about my crazy grandmother!!) FH is the same though, struggled to think of even 1 person he felt close enough to want them to be up there with him, and he is alot happier now it will just be us and the celebrant. Would you have your bridesmaids stand up with you or have you thought about reserving seats for them at the front so they can walk up the aisle, then sit down and all focus is on you and your FH?


    Hi ExcitedBride, I hadn’t thought that far ahead! Thanks for thinking of it… All I know is that I’ll have my son walking down the aisle first with a box with the rings in them. I’m thinking a cute jewellery box that I can continue to use afterwards. Then my Bridesmaid (sister) and Bridesman (best friend) will walk down the aisle together. I thought it would be a bit weird to send my best friend down by himself since he doesn’t carry a bouquet or anything, so I thought he could walk my sister down the aisle. Then my father will walk me down… I hadn’t really thought about the ceremony positioning, only the vows or what song to play when the ceremony finishes with the kiss. I usually like things balanced, but if my best friend stood next to my fiance people may think he’s his attendant… Perhaps my sister could stand next to my fiance and my best friend stand behind me. I’ll think about it and see how it goes.
    Btw, do you have Facebook. A few Knotties have joined a facebook group together, it’s completely private so nobody else can read anything. If you’re interested I’ll put the link below, I just thought I’d suggest it since you’ve been writing it a lot. If you’re not interested that’s fine, I’ll see you in other posts!

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