Needing answers

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Tory_Tory 2 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #439275

    Ok so I have a few questions I need answered.
    1) Do I need a red carpet to walk down the isle? (I dont think I need one but will my guests be judging me)
    2) I am having the wedding in a church and I dont want ceremony order of service booklets/leaflets, I think its wastefull. Is this common?
    3) I want a really simple short wedding ceremoy where can I find templates for an easy wedding?
    4) what are some nice wedding readings? the ones I find online are tacky or horrid.



    I figure it would just be easy to answer your questions in the same order.
    1) I certainly don’t think you need a red carpet, in fact none of the weddings I have been to have them. I think it is a bit of an old fashioned way of making the aisle,  it can be expensive to hire and when people go to personalise their ceremony is usually the first thing to go. Some people will make a “carpet” of flowers,  petals or confetti; others will simply have a space between rows of chairs or people and others will line a path with lanterns, candles or flowers etc.
    2) I also know that booklets aren’t as common either. If it’s as simple as ceremony direct to reception it’s fine to go without, but if you’re having a less traditional time-line or activities then it’s for the benefit of your guests. A lot of people will have multi-purpose programs such as fans so they double as a favour.
    3) Any good wedding blog or magazine (Such as Martha Stuart) will have links and referrals to content. You do have to be a bit savvy with photoshop and Illustrator as well as have a knowledge of colour theory and printing (bleeds, CMYK etc.) in order to customise a lot of them. I’d suggest going through a professional (at least a professional printing company), in the end you’re working with someone else’s ideas, I’d suggest using them as a springboard to inspire you and make something personalised.
    4) Everyone’s idea of “nice” is totally individual, so what I think is great may not be your idea of a good wedding. I’d suggest doing your research, there are some awesome sites out there now that have loads of unique weddings where couples have done their own thing; however magazines are still full of those cookie-cutter weddings (yuck!) so if you want new ideas go online.



    1) Of course you don’t need a red carpet! I have only been to one wedding that has actually had an aisle runner (my future SIL) and she told me it was actually provided by the venue in case the grass was wet so the girls heels wouldn’t sink into the ground as they walked down the aisle and stood at the front (she was married in early spring, and the ground was pretty soggy on the day). Every other wedding I have attended have just left the floor/ground as is. 
    2) You don’t need order of service booklets or leaflets either. I have only been to one wedding where these were handed out (a close friend) and she had actually been told her contact at the church that she had to have them! She later found out that this wasn’t the case and was so annoyed because she would have ditched them. I like to know the names of readings and songs that are used, so I would like to make a one page leaflet (front and back) that outlines this info and lists the bridal party (a lot of people won’t know who they are) but this isn’t set in stone.
    3) The things is, everyone’s ceremony is different. Like Happy G said, any good wedding website or blog will have links to this sort of content. Just remember that you can (within reason) customise the ceremony to suit you. My advice would be to actually contact your officiant and ask them for a standard template that they follow. This will give you a good idea of what they are used to doing, and they will walk you through the process.
    4) I completely agree with Happy G – everyone’s definition of “nice” is different. I have heard readings that have been so lovey dovey they have made me want to vomit and readings that I wasn’t sure had anything to do with marriage or love or relationships. But these were the readings that the couple wanted and I respect that. Try to think outside the box when searching for readings – don’t search for wedding ones, try searching for readings about love or relationships or whatever it is you want to portray in your ceremony.



    Given your ceremony is in a church you might not get a lot of choice. From the experience of my friends who got married in a church, they had little say over what the ceremony is like (in terms of the order of things,, what they HAD to include or what they couldn’t include). It obviously had to be religious so it needed to included prayers and readings. Both were required to have hymns and an address by the minister. 
    Depending on the church, they will have more/less requirements. Eg. A community or Anglican Church might just require it to have prayer or reading but a Catholic or Jewish church might also require you to follow particular traditions.
    you will need to check with the minister who is conducting your ceremony what options you have. You may be required to have bible readings or hymns etc…rather than being able to pick your readings. 



    Following on from BecT86’s advice as well, often the Church comes with a priest or minister, and in some cases you cannot bring in your own celebrant. I would suggest having a meeting with them (or a few) and perhaps ask to discretely sit in on a ceremony of other similar event, there are a lot of factors and the couple may not want you there but if you’re lucky they’ll understand your reasons and oblige.
    Even if you think you know who you’re dealing with, such as your childhood pastor, the last thing you want is a sermon about celibacy after you’ve lived with your partner for a few years prior to marriage; or to be chastised about not attending Church frequently enough. You may think it never happens, but believe me, it does. There’s a cringe-worthy video where the pastor started ranting at the photographers for taking away from “God’s moment” as the couple exchanged vows and demanded they leave (awkward!).
    Don’t let this take away from your excitement though. Church weddings may have some more rules and restrictions e.g. some won’t allow bare arms, cleavage, glam jewellery or dresses, certain attire, people of certain backgrounds or sexuality, non religious readings or music etc. But for someone who greatly desires a church wedding it can be fulfilling and joyful. Research your church, make a list of the “don’ts” and make that info available to guests as well (either on the invite or wedding website).



    For number 4 talk to your wedding celebrant.  Ours had a booklet where we could pick and choose what we wanted.

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