- July 7, 2014 at 2:34 pm #445224
So, my FH and I were both raised in catholic families and both went to catholic schools. My parents are both still practicing Catholics as well as his mother, he on the other hand has broken away from the faith all together and I still consider myself to be Christian, just not catholic. Both our families are very pushy about being married within the Catholic Church, as if it’s not going to count if we don’t do it “in front of the eyes of god” as they would say… I know that they will be upset if we choose not to, but I also know that FH will be uncomfortable and not really take it seriously if we do. I, on the other hand, just want to make a commitment to the person I love, but I don’t want to upset anybody either… Just feeling so lost. Haven’t even set a date yet as this is becoming quite a huge issue for us. FYI Our mothers are both particularly terrifying women when you get on the wrong side of them.July 7, 2014 at 4:34 pm #445250
I feel your pain – my mother is incredibly Catholic (she pitched a fit when my partner and I bought a house and moved in together late last year; we weren’t even engaged at the time, which apparently “made it worse”) and my partner’s mother is also a practicising Catholic, although not as extreme (she is a teacher at a Catholic primary school and does like to uphold certain traditions). My partner is a self-proclaimed athiest, whilst I identify with being Catholic but am in no way practicising.
One solution I have come up with is to have our union blessed by our local priest the weekend before our wedding. My partner’s mother loved the idea, my mother has been a bit of a harder sell (but when I made it clear that this is the closest we would get to a church wedding she grudgingly accepted). We will attend the Sunday church service (along with our immediate families – parents, siblings and in-laws, any my partner’s grandparents). The priest will call us to the front during the service and perform a marriage blessing.
We are also planning on having one Catholic reading during the ceremony (read by my partner’s mother, we think) to try and appease them both on the day. Both mothers have been happy that we have tried to take their wishes into account, so have been a little more lenient than we were expecting lol.July 8, 2014 at 7:53 pm #445351
Hmm I may have to look into something like that for us, we’ll see. Thanks for your input, it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one in this boat.
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