Is my bridesmaid subconsciously letting me know she no longer wants to be part of my wedding??

Home Forums The Knot Help Is my bridesmaid subconsciously letting me know she no longer wants to be part of my wedding??

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Lisa-P 3 years, 8 months ago.

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    I know this is a very controversal question but I need help from follow brides in this position! One of my friends, before I was engaged, suggested we be each others bridesmaids as we had similar taste and could help each other out alot. So a few months later once I was engaged she become a bridesmaid – assumed and asked. Since the engagement party in Jan I have barely heard from her (we lived ten minutes from each other) and not one question about the wedding, even when I bring it up… I started to get concerned that she just wanted the title and now I am sure about it. 

    She was size 8 started to strave herself and tell people it was because I told her she had to lose weight if she wanted to be part of my wedding calling it “bridesmaid bootcamp” – I would never do this to anyone because everyones bodies are beautiful. When I talked to her about it she just laughed and continued to do it.
    Whenever I suggested bridemaid dresses she would always come back saying they were ugly and send me pictures of fully beaded ballgowns, including white ones.
    She sent me a group text message telling everyone she was moving 6 hrs away when I text her about it she just said that she would fly back for the bridal shower and hens party but offered no further help. 
    I found out that her and her partner got engaged over a picture on facebook.. Shes asked 3 other girls to be bridesmaids and when we saw each other after and I was so happy for her.. nothing was said.
    there are other things like cutting her hair VERY short after me saying I wanted buns for all bridesmaids

    My other girls and workmates have told me that shes pushed me away.. what do you think??? After explaining this all to mum she said to replace her with my younger sister and I am thrilled with that idea but now I have to tell this friend without making it completely terrible.. 


    It does sound like your friend is not keen in helping out.  I agree with your mum, simply replace her.  Planning a wedding can be very stressful and you need all the support you can get from family, friends especially ‘your bridal party’!  When you break the news to her, try to approach the matter as if you are being considerate, i.e. her relocation, engagement etc.  She has a lot on her plate and you don’t want to add stress to her current situation. 
    Good Luck!



    I agree with preziosoamore. It definitely sounds like she is trying to tell you something, without just coming out and saying it directly. I would replace her, the last thing you need in the lead up to your wedding day is more stress.
    If she really doesn’t want to be your bridesmaid, I don’t think telling her will cause any problems. She would probably just be relieved she didn’t have to break the news to you.

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