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I feel like I'm going to be an ugly bride

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Bec87 3 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #397247

    Lisaxavier
    Member

    Hi. I’m Lisa, I’m 22, and on Monday (10 June) my 21 year old partner Xavier proposed! We’re head over heels in love, everybody we know can see it from miles around. He’s the gentlest, most encouraging, sweetest guy ever – but I’ve always had low self esteem and can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to be a hideous bride. No matter how much weight I lose and how beautiful my hair, makeup and dress look, I feel like I’m not going to look “right” and I’ll just ruin the whole day for everybody by not being this beautiful, graceful, elegant bride. Any tips to help shake this feeling and just enjoy the 12-18 months of being engaged and planning a wedding to my soulmate? Thankyou very much 😀

    #397273

    Ch88
    Member

    Hi Lisa
    Firstly, congratulations! I think every bride to be has the same feelings! I know I do, I have suffered from low self esteem my whole life too. The only advice for you I have is this..
    When those feelings strike, just try to remember that your finance loves you for exactly who you are, and (I’m sure he would agree with me on this) that you could walk down the aisle with a paper bag on and he would think you’re the most beautiful, graceful, elegant bride on the planet (and couldn’t possibly ruin his wedding day) :).  In the end, all that matters is that you marry the one you love.
    Also, write down his proposal and read it everytime you feel insecure to remind you of how much he loves you. This works very well for me :)
    Hope that helped :)
    P.S. Nothing makes you feel more like a princess then trying on bridal gowns. Even my insecurities seems to melt away when I found “the one” dress..

    #397581

    I was bridesmaid the other day and when I looked in the mirror all I thought was “omg look at my flabby arms, how will I feel on my own wedding day”?  My FH didnt see me til just before the wedding, I was standing on the balcony looking down.  That look he gave me, like I was the only one for him, made all my insecurities melt away :)  You will be fine, everyone looks lovely on their wedding day! 

    #397583

    Dear Lisa,
    Congratulations!  Being engaged is such a special time for brides and husbands to be right? 
    I think having low self-esteem is an affliction of a lot of women, engaged or not.  I think it’s more to do with your age group – having real confidence in who you are and your appearance doesn’t come naturally to lots and lots of us, but it does get easier once you turn thirty.  It really does.
    So, given that you’re going to be marrying your sweetheart well and truly before then – what can be done?
    If updating your look would give you more confidence in the meantime, then what about looking in to that? Sometimes a fancy-schmancy hair style can make all the difference to how we feel inside.
    Ballet and/or yoga lessons might help with feeling graceful too. 
    And looking right on your wedding day, that would be you looking like your best self. Which you can’t help but manage given how deeply in love you are with your sweetie.
    You are not going to be a hideous bride.  So stop worrying.  If everyone can see the love you two have for each other ‘for miles around’ like you’ve already said – that same love is going to radiate from your heart and beam out of your face and bewitch everyone on your big day.
    And when it comes to looking for your dress – here’s a tip a girlfriend gave me, get your hair done (washed and blow-waved) before you head out – especially for the first bridal shop visit – it’ll lift your spirits and put you in a great frame of mind.
    The only time I ever heard of a bride ruining everyones’ day was when she sorta forgot to go and get married. 
    A dear friend of mine used to tell me that beauty is as beauty does.  Part of feeling really good about yourself is making sure your environment supports that.  Rearranging a bedroom or having a bit of a declutter can improve how you feel about yourself.
    As can volunteering for an organisation that you care about.  Just a few suggestions!

    #401579

    Bec87
    Member

    Oh Hun I know exactly how you feel. I have had body issues for forever, never been entirely happy with what I saw. When I met my fiancé, and we became comfortable, we both put on a lot of weight. Even now being halfway down to my goal weight, I am still stressing over how I will look on our big day. When I talk to Ryan he tells me he loves me, and my size and looks won’t ever change that. So, even though I know I probably will never be 100% happy with my body, I know that he loves me. I am positive your fiancé feels the same way about you.
    When I see pics of myself in wedding dresses, I pick on all kinds of things. I am always comparing myself to the pics I see in magazines. I have to keep reminding myself that those models are teeny tiny and photoshopped to the hilt. 
    Just remember that what you are feeling is felt by most brides. On the day, nothing will make you more beautiful than the smile on your face to be getting married to the love of your life. 

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