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How many is too many? PLEASE help!

Home Forums Guests & the bridal party How many is too many? PLEASE help!

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  BigFatWedding 3 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #412297

    I have a dilemma with my bridal party.
    When FH proposed, I got very excited and asked my sister, his sister and 4 of my closest friends to be my bridesmaids. We had previously discussed that we would most likely have a big bridal party when we got married as FH wanted to include his brother and 5 first male cousins and so in my head I matched them up with special ladies in my life.
    Problem 1: I orginally didn’t want to have any younger bridesmaids, but on second thought I really should have my 13 year old cousin. She looks up to me and everytime there’s talk of the wedding her ears prick up and I know she’s dying to be involved. I was bridesmaid at her parent’s wedding so I feel like I need to return the favour and I really don’t want to break her heart either. I regret jumping the gun and asking all my friend’s straight away because in hindsight I should have had her (family first). I will not unask my friends. I just can’t do it. My mum also is insisting I have my cousin, even though FH and I agreed on a max of 6.
    Problem 2: Before we got engaged, our really good friends asked us to be in their bridal party. They are now getting married a year after us. Are we obliged to return the favour and ask them? They are only having 3 couples so I don’t want to offend them as we’re very close friends but we’ve already got such a large bridal party. This will bring the count to 8 couples.
    I’ve been getting quotes for cars (vintage) and to have a bridal party of 18 (B & G included) totally blows out our budget when it comes to transporting that many people. It will also mean that my FH and I will most likely need to share a car with our bridal party when we really wanted our own car.
    Do i break my little cousin’s heart and not have her? Do we kindly tell our friend’s that we really wanted them but it’s blowing our budget?
    Opinions needed please. I can’t move forward with booking anything else until I have numbers.
    Thanks in advance!
     
     
     

    #412451

    BecT86
    Member

    Why not ask your cousin to do a reading at the wedding? Get a corsage for her with your flowers and give her a special part of the ceremony. That way she’ll still have a part.
    Are the friends as close to you as the rest of the bridal party? I’m sure given their planning their own wedding and budgeting they’ll understand. Maybe they could be your ushers. Don’t feel that just because you’ve been asked then you need to ‘return the favour’. 
     

    #413005

    Thanks for getting back to me Bec!
    Turns out our reception made the decision for us. Bridal table fits a max of 16 people, so we’ve decided to include the cousins and unfortunately not have the friends.
    So 7 bridesmaids it is!

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