- July 28, 2013 at 5:39 pm #408525
My bridesmaids and I have come up with an idea for my hens, it’s going to be $80-85 per person + BYO this includes (and this is all I know as they’re keeping the finer details a surprise) the venue, games, prizes, food, a gift bag worth $100 for each girl. My partner has offered to pay for a VIP booth at a club for us after. We came up with this idea as I’m not a big drinker so wasn’t wanting a pub crawl or anything based purely around drinking. Can you tell me if you think this is reasonable? I’m going to one which is $50 plus byo drinks this is dinner & money to cover the bride. Most girls I see now are going away for their hens weekends, I am not as my wedding is away from home, so guests will need to travel. I have given my girls about 6 months motive & this is to get an idea that theyre happy to pay (so my bridesmaids can make the arrangements and get numbers) I can’t give them much info at the moment besides what I mentioned above. Most have come back sayings yep but I’m questioning it now as 2 close friend don’t sseem to keen. I don’t want to sound bridezilaesk but originally I wanted to go away but decided against it and then decided against another idea, so I don’t want to have to keep compromising. Any advice would be great. Thanks!July 28, 2013 at 5:40 pm #408527
Notice* not motiveJuly 29, 2013 at 6:15 pm #409017
It sounds like it is already planned, so just go with it. Most of your guests are happy to pay it would seem. You know your guests better than me, do you think they can afford it? I would straight out ask the unkeen guests if it is too expensive for them and go from there. They will then hopefully feel comfortable about saying it is a bit out of their price range and you can come up with a solution. Instead of the private booth, could you fiancee pay for some aspect of the day to reduce the cost for everyone?
It really depends on each guests’ personal situation. I personally would find that a bit much. With a bottle of wine, that’s $100. While I have that money avaliable, I would prefer to spend it on something else. Out of your inclusions, the only thing I would actually expect to pay money for is food. The venue should be free or paid for by the host, prizes should be paid for by the host, games should cost very little if anything and paid for by the host and I have little interest in a guest bag. Where are you having it? What are the games? I’m asking because if it was something amazing, it might seem more worthwhile to spend that kind of money on. But generally, having lunch at a nice place or even afternoon tea in someone’s house is just as nice and fun as anything expensive. It’s the people and the conversation that make it fun, not the location.
Remember that wedding guests have/will probably get you up to 3 gifts (engagement/bridal shower/wedding), buy some new outfits and in your case travel to the wedding and pay for accommodation. That adds up to a lot of money.You never fully know anyone’s finacial situation and their priorities might be very different to yours. For instance, my partner and I both have decent incomes, but we are paying for a wedding, saving for a new house, paying off a mortgage, and hoping to have a baby next year. We would also love to go overseas but that’s not looking possible. Very few people know all these things, so would over-estimate our financial flexibility. I would rather put $100 towards our mortgage/baby/holiday then a hen’s night.
Sorry to be negative!July 30, 2013 at 12:45 pm #409149
It comes down to value for money – I have been on a few different hens days/nights and some were more expensive than others, because they were for a cruise incl food & drinks, as opposed to a bus trip & once we arrived at the destination each person paid for their own meal & drinks. I don’t think it is an unreasonable cost for what has been planned.
I don’t think a bride should expect their maid of honor or bridesmaids to pay for the venue for the hens party. I wouldn’t expect my friend to fork out ridiculous amounts of money to put on a party for me. And as a wedding guest I would have no problems whatsoever about contributing to the hens party so that the bride didn’t have to pay, and the maid of honor/bridesmaids weren’t stuck with a huge cost. The hens party isn’t for you to have a night out on the maids, it’s for the bride.
What difference does it make if her partner contributes to the day rather than the booth? Most people will want to go dancing etc afterwards so they will end up spending way more on drinks at a club.
If you didn’t want to spend $100 on your friend’s hens party then stay home. It’s one thing to be financially unable to spare the money, but personally I think that would be an insult to the bride, to say you would rather spend the money on yourself than celebrating something that is a once in a lifetime experience for them.
Good luck ExcitedBrideToBe09 and I hope you have a lovely hens partyJuly 30, 2013 at 4:33 pm #409203
Thanks for the comments girls, We have decided to go ahead with the idea as comments from friends were pretty much all positive. I see both sides given they have to spend money to attend but after sitting down and thinking about it, there aren’t really any other “different” hens ideas. I say different as in there’s on really one place that offers a hens package our other choices are dinner and the pub or a friends place then out. I love socializing and dinners out with friends, so I was hoping for something a bit more special and unique. I wouldn’t want my hens held at a bridesmaids place putting the burden on them to provide catering and clean up after everyone.
Thanks again and thanks Jsbride I’m hoping it will be a great timeAugust 9, 2013 at 7:10 pm #412443
My sisters hens is $100 and we’ll need to pay for drinks at the venue.
I organised a hens not too long ago and the bride was really conscious of the expense so I set it up as an ‘a-la-carte’ menu event. Some people to get involved in everything- massages, manicures, pole dancing, dinner, games and accommodation, while others just joined for dinner and some did a pick and choose, eg nails and dinner. It catered for everyone’s budgets!
with six moths warning, I’m sure your girls will be able to swing it- just try not to get offended if even after all that notice someone still says they can’t afford it.
best of luckAugust 21, 2013 at 7:36 pm #414167
I think the girls may have another idea but its top secret so I’m no longer worrying as they have assured me it will be an amazing night!!
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.