- February 17, 2014 at 3:18 pm #432752
I have had an issue come up over the weekend that I would like some views on what I can do to fix the problem and avoid hurt feelings as much as possible.
I am having a hens night in the city with my friends and young cousins. However I am also having a very small bridal shower high-tea so that I can include my grandmothers and older aunties on the bridal festivities.
My young cousins and friends who can come the the Hens received the Hen’s invite, and the people who can’t, e.g. Nan, Grandma are invited to the bridal shower. The only people invited to both are from the bridal party.
As usual, the hens are paying for themselves on the night. We are hosting the bridal shower ourselves and are paying for it all which is why it is only very small, as the outlay for money all-round at the moment is insane.
One of the cousins has got wind of the bridal shower, has ditched the hens night and invited herself to the shower!! I wouldn’t have much of a problem with this except that now, all my other family members are going to be hurt and wonder why they weren’t originally invited to my bridal shower. We simply cannot afford to invite and host for everyone, otherwise that would be my solution.
How do I tell my self-inviting cousin that she isn’t invited to my shower without creating a bad tone for the wedding?
February 18, 2014 at 1:22 pm #432845
Just be honest, most people will understand your reasons, both family and financial; unfortunately you may just have to make it clear to the cousin that the event is for immediate family only, and though it is lovely that she would like to be involved, you cannot afford it (but make sure you say that it does not mean you don’t want her involved, it just means you’d love for her to be at the hen’s night).
So many people try to cover it up and come up with excuses, but in the end it will inevitably unravel and cause more problems. Be direct and honest, just say it in as tasteful a manner as possible and try to downplay any drama. It’s not like you don’t like her, you genuinely cannot afford to fork out more money as getting married is very expensive and it will mean sacrificing something else.
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