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Give me Strength!

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  HappyG 3 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #360023

    bs942
    Member

    I am becoming a bridezilla, I can just feel it! There is this girl who is engaged to my fiance’s best man and she is driving me mental. First she booked her wedding days after ours, and then as she was a friend all we talked about was weddings… then she stole all my ideas… even my colour scheme, the same table centrepieces –  EVEN THE SAME WEDDING INVITES!
    Because she was becoming pushy about how our wedding was impacting hers (she couldnt have her hens night because it was the date our my wedding…), mind you she got engaged after us & because she winged about her not being engaged when we were…. we ended up moving our wedding back 4 months just so we could gain some clarity and peace away from the craziness and pushiness of her wedding.
     
    This has really upset me and I have tried to take it gracefully but I just cant anymore. I have spoken to my fiance about it but he doesnt know just how mad I am about it because I am trying to hide this bridezilla thats bubbling away!
     
    Now I have to recreate my whole theme, pick new invites and everything otherwise I fear she will get angry with me because she will argue I have stolen her ideas now my wedding is after hers :-(
     
    I have stopped talking wedding with her but now she is trying to get her and my friends to find out details of my wedding. She found out what we were doing for our honeymoon and she went and booked THE SAME HONEYMOON!
     
    OMG! Why!? Please somebody slap some sense into me!

    #360109

    BS, if anyone needs a slapping it is most definitely her!! I agree, don’t discuss wedding stuff with anybody who will leak details. And I definitely think your fiancee needs to know exactly how you feel, but once you’ve let everything off your chest don’t bring it up again otherwise the ‘bridezilla’ may come out a little bit.
    As for who to discuss wedding details with, there’s always the ladies on this forum. I’ve found talking on here really helps me out (I drive my boyfriend crazy with wedding talk to the point where he thinks all I care about is weddings). I would be devestated about choosing a new colour scheme or invites, but are there any others that you were umming and aahing about but decided to go no because the first choice was better? Make sure you get something you still love…

    #360395

    Ch88
    Member

    Totally agree with EmeraldBride, it’s her that needs a good slap! That is a really horrible thing for her to do. I have 4 other friends/relatives who got engaged around the same as we did, and we all did the upmost possible to make sure we don’t clash anywhere, right down to the colour scheme and flowers. This is what real friends do for each other, especially when you each want your special day to be, well, special. You are definitely not be ing a bridezilla about this.
    In a way however, it is a compliment. She thought your ideas were so great, she just had to have them too! This also gives you a chance to come up with something even more wonderful. So you will get a wonderful wedding and as an added bonus, you get to show her up 😛

    #360933

    Hi bs942,
    Patience is the most important thing you can use at this point.  Do not hide your feelings; let your Fiancé know about this situation and how much is affecting you.
    There are some people that can´t make decisions by themselves. That is why they use yours.  If you still have some time, lay low on your weeding preparations, do not tell anybody what you are doing, and forget about her. 
    One she gets married she will not be able to copy you anymore.
     

    #361003

    bs942
    Member

    Thanks girls, I really appreciate your comments!! I had a good long chat with my fiance over a lovely glass of wine over the weekend about it all. And I explained how it makes me feel… because I feel ripped off not only because its my wedding but because its a picture of who my fiance and I are and I just cant begin to understand how that would suit her and her fiance!
    But with saying that, my fiance said that he feels sorry for them because they have no idea what they want and are taking bits and pieces from our wedding and a couple of other friends. But he assured me that our wedding will be all that I have dreamed of and more… I am sure that I am marrying the one!! :)
    I had a think about whether I wanted to change colour schemes etc and I think I am going to stick to my original plans. Afterall theyre our plans! My friend is going for a really over the top wedding and wants to “beat” me at this wedding game… but I am just going to keep it simple and elegant, no way am I entering this match!
    Im still pretty annoyed at it all though and will be keeping a tight lip from now on!!
     
     

    #361697

    Kittikats
    Member

    Good on you bs942!
     
    You picked out your dream wedding and I’m proud of you for sticking to your guns and refusing to compete with her.
     
    The real question is why does she feel she has to steal your special day? Is it because you have the most special man in the world as your fiance? (Well second most in my eyes…. lol)
     
    She feels she needs to compete with you and is losing focus on whats important (unlike you) which is what the day represents: the start of your new life with your husband.
     
    Besides, I’m sure there will be lots of your personality on your day, lots of heartfelt emotion, love, tears of joy, laughter and shared moments with the people you love and thats what everyone will remember for you.
     
    As for her instead remembering all of her over-the-top glamour they’ll probably remember her pushiness, her day not really representing her and at your wedding how you did it better because it was yours all along.

    #361809

    bs942
    Member

    Thank you Kittikats! I have to say accepting what she has done and listening to your reassuring comments, I am back to my excited self again! Bring on my wedding!!! <3

    #396821

    Ai yay yee BS942,
    You are not being a bridezilla.  You’re dealing with heaps and someone stepping on your toes while you’re trying to hold up the sky is maddening. 
    The best mans’ fiance sounds like a headcase.
    If she wants to copy you – let her GO FOR IT.   You  will know who had the idea first and who didn’t.  So will most of your guests.  And most of your guests will also know she copied you.
    If she booked the same honeymoon and yours is first you can tell her exactly how CRAP it was when you get back.  :-)
    You can also befriend one or two of the staff where you’re headed and warn them she’s coming. Or you can tell her when you get back in a big loud voice (when there’s heaps of people around) I heard you were really badly behaved in so and so. 
    Mimicry is the highest form of flattery so your ideas, colour scheme must be excellent or she wouldn’t bother.  What a boring little worm though – copying everything.
    You could try telling her you changed your mind on everything.  (And you haven’t) and see how fast she reacts to copy your new scheme – that doesn’t exist.
    Try to have some fun with her instead of letting her wreck your precious head – you’re going to need it for all the other challenges yet to head your way.  :-)
     
     

    #419021

    HappyG
    Member

    Who cares if she took inspiration from you? It’s hard to find ideas and scrap-booking, attending conventions etc. take a lot of time and effort. Brides will often get inspiration and tips from friends, family, websites, forums, magazines and personal stories. There are only a limited number of colours and styles so there will always be similarities.
     
    Having a date not far after yours could come down to a number of factors,  the availability of their chosen venue, family commitments or difficulties, availability of the bridal party, the date having significance to them and so much more. You may just have similar taste, there’s no point making it personal, enjoy your wedding as an expression of your taste and love, and let them enjoy theirs when and how they want.
     
    If you’re so focused on someone else’s colour scheme, then you are missing out on what really matters, the person you love and are committing your life to. Calm down, enjoy your day, if she makes you uncomfortable don’t invite her.

    #421097

    Kittikats
    Member

    @ HappyG
    There is a difference between being inspired by someones ideas and completely ripping them off.
    E.g:
    Inspired
    I love how all your bridesmaids are wearing the same colour and material but have different styled dresses to suit themselves, what a great idea! I’ll do that but in my colour scheme!
     
    vs
     
    Your doing a very specific invitation with personalised and sentimental wording? (poem that is meaningful to your relationship, colour, font, shape, logo, paper type, coloured envelope) I’ll do the EXACT SAME just change the names.
     
    bs942 is not having a fit because of a few similarities (OMG, she’s using blue! I’m having blue at my wedding! Sure mine is navy and hers is ducks egg, but what a stealer!!! OMG She is wearing a white dress! She stole that from me!!!) She is rightly annoyed that someone is stealing her wedding from her.
     
    I’d be so mad if someone did this to me and hurt too because a wedding is supposed to represent you, your partner, your relationship and the commitment you two are making.
     
    I’m proud of bs942 for sticking with the day that best represents her and her partner and not getting into a competition of who’s day is bigger/fancier/more outrageous. Instead she is focusing on her relationship and celebrating the start of the rest of her life with her partner.
     
     

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