- July 30, 2014 at 4:03 am #447262
So, my fiancé and I were both raised in catholic families, however since then my fiancé has completely broken away from the church as doesn’t follow any particular religion. We were hoping on having a lovely little ceremony in the courtyard of our reception venue but his mother has insisted that this isn’t good enough and is refusing to discuss any details of the wedding with us until we agree to have a catholic wedding. I’m so upset, I wish she could just respect what we want to do for our special day… I did have an idea that I thought may help though, which is that we organise with my families church to say our bows during a regular Sunday mass with our immediate family there with us and have our full private ceremony the way we have been planning. Just wondering if many people have done it this way before, and what are your opinions on this?July 30, 2014 at 2:42 pm #447347
The answer here is really simple, have your wedding the way you want to. You’re not marring his mother, your marrying him, and if she doesn’t approve of your ceremony, tough.
If you want to recognise your past association with the Catholic faith in your ceremony, I would suggest having some readings, a religious celebrant, or incorporating some religious ceremonial elements; or as you mentioned you could have a religious and non-religious ceremony. Find a balance that works for you, and remember that your wedding should represent who you are as a couple, not what other people think you should be.July 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm #447361
My partner and I are in a similar position to you – we are both baptised Catholics but don’t consider ourselves practicising at all, whilst his mother is a teacher at a Catholic primary school (and, therefore, has certain values that she believes she needs to uphold) and my mother is quite a strict Catholic (she had a fit when I announced we bought a house and were moving in together without being married).
What we have decided to do is have our marriage blessed by our local priest the weekend before our wedding. Only our immediate families (parents, siblings, siblings in law, and grandparents) will be in attendance. We will attend the Sunday morning mass and the priest will call us both to the front to basically perform a blessing similar to what he would during a standard marriage ceremony. Both our mothers have accepted this alternative (mine grudingly, but I made it clear this was the best she was going to get). We are also having a Catholic reading in our actual marriage ceremony.
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.