- August 20, 2013 at 9:01 pm #414013
Earlier this year my parents had a very messy break up which has resulted in both families not talking to each other and constantly fighting – my first dilemma is the engagement party… They fight so badly I’m worried about having one engagement party where everyone is invited because I don’t want a fight to break out but then if I don’t have one engagement party what is an alternative? After suggestions as this has been playing in my mind every day on how we will celebrate it with everyone, both my families, my fiance s family and our friends. All suggestions welcome !
September 8, 2013 at 2:55 am #416433
My dillema is similar, some people in my family are less then excited about my engagement because i was engaged to another guy 2 years ago almost and that fell through in a bad way.
Have you considered maybe seperate affairs? Do your parents have different tastes like your mum may like a dinner and your dad may like a party. If thats the case have an intimate dinner with mum (his parents, your bridal party and some other family) and party with dad or vice versa or dinner with both (seperately of course)
Another option is to politely request that you wish to have them at the party but could they please behave. Appeal to the idea that its embaressing(and it is) and bring up your happiness. “i want you both there because you are both my family but i dont want any fights, its childish and embaressing in public. i just want to celebrate and be happy” if they argue against either being in the room with the other then you may have to consider them both being out of the party and celebrating with a seperate dinner for each.
Do they fight more if they drink? Maybe do something without large amounts of alcohol like a picnic or dinner. Ill tell you now if its at a venue that is liscenced they will have to be on good behaviour not to get booted from the venue. On that note, on the night of the party make sure there is a security guard (most venues like bowls and golf clubs have security) and make it known that if there is trouble they will be kicked out and make security aware of the situation.
Another option is to have your bridesmaids and groomsmen keep them seperate at the party and monitoring the situation for you so you can enjoy your party.
I dont want to stress you out futher but what are you going to do with them at the wedding? And the reception?
You may have to bite the bullet and exclude them if they can not co-operate for their daughters special journey. And thats sad if it happens and i sincerely hope it does not come to that.
If all else fails. Party with the people who matter, the ones who will be happy for you regardless of who they have to be in a room with.
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