- April 16, 2013 at 4:22 pm #378837
A few years ago my extended family basically spilt down the middle over an incident involving my sister and cousin. By spilt down the middle I mean my mum’s brothers barely talk to her not to mention they also insulted my father, ignore my sister and rarely speak to me. My cousins also stopped talking to us and only one has started to talk again on and off. On the other hand my mums sisters and their children didn’t get involved and so we get along really well. My delima is I’m torn between who to invite to my wedding and who not to. I really want to invite my mums sisters and their children, I don’t particularly want to invite one uncle and I’m undecided on the other. This is really stressing me out as I feel obliged to invite my uncles even though I don’t really have anything to do with one and the other only occasionally. I feel guilty picking and choosing, inviting some cousins but not the rest, inviting some of my mums siblings but not the others, I also worry what will happen on the day, will they make my father and brother feel uncomfortable on a day I want everyone to enjoy? My Mum said not to worry as it’s my day and I should invite who I want there and should they have a problem it is there’s, but it’s really making me feel bad. Has anyone else had family issues? What did they do? – hopefully someone can give me some advice!April 16, 2013 at 4:35 pm #378839
Can’t really give you advice on the drama between your family members, but I’ll tell you what I am doing with cousins. I’m close to all my cousins on my dad’s side, but only 2 on my mum’s side (leaving 7 out). So my fiance and I came up with a rule that we are only inviting cousins the other has met. This really is a bogus rule – as he hasn’t met some on my dad’s side (we live in Tassie, they live in qld). But, the people who may get upset with us don’t know it is a bogus rule. So basically if they argue, we will just say something like ‘sorry, budget meant we had to cut people, so we decided not to invite cousins the other hadn’t met’. So maybe you can come up with a ‘rule’ like that?? Cousins you have seen in the last year?
It is your wedding. Think about if having that person would add to, or detract from, your day. Or if you didn’t invite them, would that feeling detract from your day?April 17, 2013 at 9:48 am #378957
Thanks Bec2013, that’s a good suggestion! I had some rules for friends and any plus ones, so ill speak to my FH and see what he thinks. I’m starting to think if they don’t really have anything to do with me now will they in the future.
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