Do you tell a friend they aren't a bridesmaid?

Home Forums Guests & the bridal party Do you tell a friend they aren't a bridesmaid?

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Future Mrs M 3 years, 1 month ago.

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    I have been friends with this girl since we were 13 but I don’t feel as close to her in the last few years. I have a feeling she thinks I will ask her to be a bridesmaid so I feel like I need to let her know that she won’t be in the bridal party. I would like to give  her another job like do a reading or something.
    She is a very sensitive girl (especially more so recently), how do I go about this in the most tactful way? I know she will be a little hurt but I don’t want completely ruin our friendship. 


    Maybe find exactly what you want her to do, and when you go out for coffee have a chat about how you’re getting together with all the important (stress that word) people that will be part of the ceremony, and you really want her to contribute with a verse/reading/etc. Tell her you need her help in planning that part, and maybe find her another job as well, like helping make invitations (if you’re going DIY), or another big job that you could use a hand with, that you think she would be willing to step up to. Also, maybe drop into the conversationg casually that you’re already looking for bridesmaid dresses and you’re having such trouble because out of the 3 bridesmaids you’ve chosen, Sally wears long dresses only, Susan won’t wear sleeves and it’s going to be freezing, and Sammy just got a skull tattoo on her should and you have no idea what to do…. basically, drop who has been picked so she understands she isn’t in the bridal party, but you’re not telling her directly and even though her feelings will be hurt, hopefully you don’t have to give an explanation and possibly ruin a friendship.
    Clearly I’m making up the bridesmaid dilemma, but there’s always one somewhere, so just insert your problem with your girls, and ask for her advice, which will help her feel more appreciated, that you’re turning to her for help.
    Good luck!


    Thank you! I had a good chat with her and she was totally ok with it (or so I think!). Pheeww don’t have to worry about that anymore :)

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