- January 16, 2014 at 9:32 pm #429985
Help…!!! There are a couple of our guests that have boyfriends/girlfriends that we have never met as quite a few of them live down south, do we invite them or not? There are people that we have taken off our guest list so we dont go over our budget. Where do you draw the line? Married, engaged,just started seeing each other…??January 17, 2014 at 4:30 pm #430052
i wouldn’t… however, the only exception would be for someone who i haven’t seen in a long time (lives overseas etc.) has been w/ that someone for a while and in a serious relationship, then yes i would. but if it’s someone who just started seeing someone… i wouldn’t… that’s just my personal thing… weddings are expensive and you don’t want it to be a free for all for people you don’t know @ all… : )January 17, 2014 at 8:36 pm #430056
Yeh i think we will just do that, thanks for your reply you have just made my decision for me =)January 18, 2014 at 10:38 pm #430069
Ava Hester MorganMember
I would probably just allow those who I have known for so long and have been part of our lives. I uwould prefer the married ones. I always think having more married couples in your wedding is a good sign or blessing.January 22, 2014 at 7:15 pm #430377
The rule of thumb is being together for a minimum of 12 months, with preference given to engaged, married or long-term partners if you have to cut numbers. It is prefereable that they have met you or your partner, and those whom you have not met are generally further down on the invite list and more likely to get cut.
For example, you have someone who’s partner has been with them for 3 weeks but you’ve met them compared to someone who’s been with their partner for 5 years and you haven’t met; but you only have room for one of the couples. Technically you’d choose the second couple because they’ve been together more than 12 months (as long as you’ve heard they have a pleasant enough reputation)
January 22, 2014 at 9:41 pm #430383
Are the guests with partners you haven’t met travelling for the wedding? I just ask because I know if I was invited to a wedding and my fiancé wasn’t and I needed to travel interstate to attend…I probably would really consider whether to travel interstate on my own or not (even before getting engaged)…it is expensive to travel interstate, particularly when your travelling alone without someone else to divide up the cost with ( and a bit lonely). However I think if it’s a newish (as in less than 12 months) I don’t think your obligated to invite them, but ones that are long term but just not engaged or married yet but their living together etc I think it’s better equiette to invite both. To cut down our guest list we decide on where to draw the line with friends…we’re only inviting our really close friends but will invite our outer circle of friends to the bucks and hens to have them involved.February 20, 2014 at 4:00 pm #433193
What you need to do is set a rule and then make sure that you follow it for every person that is invited. For example, our rule is that married and engaged couples, couples who live together and couples that have been together longer than 2 years are invited together regardless of whether we have met the partner or not – anyone who doesn’t meet these criteria doesn’t get a plus 1. If you follow a rule, people cannot really complain about it too much.
I know that sticking to this rule can be hard – one of my cousins has a girlfriend whom is lovely, but they have only been together for a year so he will get invited alone. We did originally consider lowering the dating length to a year, but we have a lot of friends who have been in year long relationships and we either don’t like their partners, have never met them or simply do not have room for them.March 18, 2014 at 10:06 am #435351
not sure if it’s been mentioned but we had the engaged/married/de facto rule. if you weren’t engaged to, married to or living with the person then they weren’t invited. most of our family who do just have boyfriends/girlfriends are living with them so that solved a few issues, but we had originally planned to invite 100 people and you had my mother’s friends kids who were my age and had girlfriends, or my cousin had a girlfriend that I hadn’t even known about, etc etc. I had to draw the line somewhere!
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