Deceased Parents, how do i include them?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Liz South 3 years, 1 month ago.

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    My father passed when i was 13 and my mother passed when i was 20,  i was very close with both of them and want them to be apart of the wedding as much as they would of been being alive today.
    i am wanting to include them in the wedding, i am wanting to have a song for each of them played and have them included in speaches during the reception, i am and still learning so much about planning a wedding and have no idea where i should have the songs played throughout the wedding or reception without it being to dragged on as they are longer songs or how to mention them without bringing spirits down,
    Lots of ideas please?
    Thanks in advance!



    I’m having a similar problem. My dad passed away when I was 18 and I’ve lost my grandmas (both sides of my family) and my fiancé his grandpas. It’s quiet a number of really close family members we’ve lost in the past 9 or so years. Because they were close and meant a lot to us I want to include them in some way but I’m also struggling with not wanted to upset people.
    i thought of a few ideas I’m playing with at the moment:
    – having the wedding dates of our parents and grandparents as our table numbers and have their wedding photo instead of the table number
    – on the table where the wishing well will go have photos of our lost loved ones with a nice little poem
    – have a locket or similar that attaches to my bouquet that has a photo of my dad 
    i think if you have a song it might be nice to have a reading or song during the ceremony, maybe even find out what readings or songs where played at your parents wedding, such as a poem that was read at their wedding, their first dance or their favourite song etc and include that. There’s usually a father-daughter dance, you could play one for your dad then and dance with a grandparent or brother or close uncle. However I am aware that this would be very emotional and I don’t know if I could do that without losing it!
    The song for your mum could be played after the first dance when all couples get up to dance. You could say something like how this song reminds you of your mum and the love she had for her family and for all couples to get up to dance in celebration of the love we always carry in our hearts.
    i think the key will be to celebrate them in however their include as opposed to remembering the lost (if that makes sense!). 


    as much as i hate kim kardashian i loved the idea of her sewing a piece of her dads shirt into her dress so she could have a piece of him with her



    I lost my dad three years ago and I’m including him in the following ways:
     – a vintage locket pinned to my bouquet
     – a poem tribute to him printed on the back of my ceremony program
     – a photo of him on a table along with photos of our grandparents who have passed
     – my brother is going to make a speech and toast to him during the reception.
    Hope this gives you ladies some ideas :)


    Hi hun,
    Just a suggestion but I was exeptionally close to my Nana and Pa so Im going to make a little section along the wall where I have small frames hanging off ribbons, some will be empty for a funky look and I will have a picture of all the loved ones that aren’t with us scattered around the empty ones. Its hard to find a balance between a tribute and just devastating, I think if I gave a toast to them I would break down completely. For me thats my way of them being there without dwelling on it and having it make me very sad.
    Im sorry about your parents. You are a very brave person and no matter what you do, they will be there with you.  xxxxxx 


    Liz South

    The vintage locket attached to a bouquet or the strap of your shoe or anklet (so your father can “walk” you down the aisle) are nice ideas I’ve seen friends use but we are leaving an empty seat with a white rose for each person missing in the front row at our ceremony and an empty seat at the reception table to signify all of my grandparents and his grandfather. I like your poem idea alot, I know you’ll find the right way to include them x

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