changing your surname or not ?

Home Forums The Knot Help changing your surname or not ?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Rachel S 3 years, 2 months ago.

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    so this is something i have always felt strongly for… i don’t want to change my last name ! will you ? won’t you ? and any stories behind your reason you want to share ?
    here is my reason. i guess it’s an identity thing for me. it’s me ! it’s who i have been my whole life ! i have represented Australia overseas in my sport w/ that name… i am also the last of our line too (only child) so i’m it for this line of the family tree… i don’t want to lose it or end it… i mean i am happy to be reffered to as Mr. and Mrs. Brown that is fine but i just don’t want to officially change my name on paper… i guess i just don’t want to let go of my history of my name… it’s who i have always been… i’m happy for children (if we have any) to just have my partners surname… am i weird ?
    i was worried it might cause problems w/ my partner but he seems fine w/ it – he said what about if i hyphernate it and be Brown-Smith … but then it’s all just a bit of a mouthful… or make his surname my middle name (because i actually don’t have a middle name…) so i thought that might be an option…



    Hello LyssLoveCol,
    Last names are a personal choice.
    Some people add their spouses last name to the end of their name and go by their maiden name for business and Mrs Whatever for other times being both people, just choosing when they are each.
    Some drop their name and become Mrs Whomever the whole time.
    Others don’t change it at all.
    Some become Mrs Whomever and make their maiden name their middle name.
    Some hyphenate because they don’t want to lose either.
    Or you can do what my fiance and I are doing which is coming up with a whole new last name – Alwin – instead of either of ours. This means he is changing his name first then when we marry I change my name (with my marriage certificate).



    I’m currently a hyphenated last name, mum’s maiden name and dad’s surname. Hyphenating is a pain, it takes ages to sign anything and people will refer to you as the easier to pronounce name.
    We joke about my hyphenating so I’ll have three last names. And while it would roll off the tongue I’m just taking my husband’s name. I can’t stand the length any more. It’s going to be nice to have a simple name. Regardless of whether my kids are born in or out of wedlock, they’re all getting their father’s surname. I wouldn’t wish a hyphen on any kid.
    My aunt kept her name when she married. She’d established her career with that name, it would be too difficult to change everything and she was really emotionally attached to it. When their kids were born they discussed hyphenating but decided instead to use my aunt’s name as their middle names and her husband’s name as their surname.


    wow a whole new last name ! that is a cool idea !!! i found a thread on google where people were talking about it which was insightful… still don’t know what i will do but i want to keep my surname… (him and all his family call me a nickname which is my last name so if i changed they couldn’t call me that anymore !!! lol) plenty of time to come to a decision anyway… but yes i also agree… hyphernating makes it all a lot longer too !!! ha ! : )


    Rachel S

    Personally, since you’ve represented your country, and that’s an awesome amazing thing, I think you should keep your name. But that’s just my two cents!
    I’m on the keeping my own name side. I’ve already had a good start in a career I love, and feel that changing my name could cause me employment issues down the line as I try to point to work I have done under my own name. Plus I’ve always felt strongly that my name is *my* name. Cross the children bridge when you come to it.

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