Bridesmaid Resistance

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Brideslave15 3 years, 7 months ago.

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    I am 10months out from my wedding and I would like to start dress shopping for my bridesmaids.  As we all live 10 hrs drive from each other, i understand that its going to be difficult to find a place and time that suits everyone; however one of my bridesmaids has decided that its inconvenient for her to have to travel when she lives in the capital city (and can go into any dress shop she wants) and that she doesn’t need to get a dress until 4 months out from the wedding.  I have tried telling her that I want to be there when dresses are tried on but she told me i need to “chill out” and that she doesn’t “appreciate” how i am handling my wedding.  Do i perservere with a bridesmaid who clearly isn’t that interested or should i ask her to step down?  She is my cousin who i really only asked because i knew she was expecting it.



    Up to you, if you think your relationship can survive it, you could get have her step down. Do remember she is family and you have to see her again though. What I would do is organise a time and place to go shopping. Say that’s it, if she is there, good, if not, you will make the decision without her. Then do it. Pick something that the other girls are happy with and then give her the details to order her own, or ask for her measurements and order it. I think that if she isn’t there, she doesn’t get a say. You could also look at ordering online if it is too hard to get everyone in the same place :)



    I agree with Bec. You’re not being unreasonable just tell her you have to go at this time, if  its always hard to schedule for everyone anyway – if she can’t make it suggest that she send you some pictures or suggestions of styles she prefers. Also if you can, take some photos of options while you’re at the shop, and email them to her there and ring to check theres no major issues.


    Honestly, you need to try to be up front with her and tell her that you want her to be comfortable but you also want to ensure that you are happy with the dresses that your bridesmaids are wearing, which means you either have to meet her in the capital city and go with her when she is dress shopping – or she comes to you. 
    I think you should give her the opportunity to step down with dignity (though the silly girl doesn’t sound like she deserves it) rather than firing her butt. I would give her that option: “Look, I can either come and meet you on the day you chose to go dress shopping or you meet me here when I go dress shopping – if you can’t go along with these plans then I’m sorry (insert her name here), I may have to change plans altogether.” 
    Believe me I understand that this is hard – I had my wedding in may, luckily my bridesmaids were awesome. But I was a part of a not so awesome wedding last year and the bride was the crazy psycho one. It’s not always easy to say what you really think. 

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