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Bridesmaid Issues!

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  JessicaFay 2 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #431839

    MissBirdie
    Member

    Hi ladies,
    Would love some advice! My fiance and I got engaged in December last year, and our immediate family are overjoyed – as are we! But I’ve chosen his sister and his brother’s girlfriend to be my bridesmaids (and one of my friends) and they don’t like each other… so much so that my SIL hasn’t actually said she’ll be a bridesmaid (whereas previosly she couldn’t wait to be involved) and it’s driving me nuts! The ironic thing is up until a few months ago, I didn’t really get along with the girlfriend, but since my fiance and I have been engaged, she’s been the most excited, supportive and helpful person.
    So I guess what I’m asking is has anyone had a similar experience? Maybe I could just get a bunch of drinks for them and get them to have an honest conversation? Heh. Yeah right.
    Also, just booked April 11th 2015 as our wedding date and I’m SO EXCITED! :)
     

    #431992

    HappyG
    Member

    Well, you have plenty of time until the big day, so there’s flexibility if you end up having to choose one or the other. Your decision should be based on your relationship with each one and who you feel will support you and help you with wedding planning etc. the best (also, one of them is just a girlfriend, so especially if she’s been around less than a year, a married relative is generally given precedence where etiquette is concerned).  Their personal issues with one another are not your problem, you just want their personal issues not to interfere with your wedding day. Funnily enough an honest conversation is  the best way to deal with it, sitting them down and figuring out where the animosity stems from and asking them to prioritise having a nice day may help you keep your bridal party together. In the end, if one of them wants to be petty about it, they’ll be the one who is dropped; however it is important to mention you did say that your relationship with the girlfriend is more recent so your SIL may expect you to take her side, you may need to take this into account.

    #433787

    JessicaFay
    Member

    I’m actually surprised that you asked the girlfriend to be a bridesmaid, especially if you haven’t really gotten along in the past – whose to say that she will still be around come April next year? And if she isn’t dating your fiance’s brother anymore, will the two of you keep in contact?
     
    If it comes down to a case of having to choose – SIL or the girlfriend – I think you really need to choose your SIL. After all, she is definitely going to stick around and it seems that the two of you have gotten on for much longer. As for trying to get them to work out their differences, I don’t think that this is up to you. Just sit down with your SIL and ask her how she’s feeling about all this. Hopefully she’ll give you an honest answer and you can go from there.

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