- November 7, 2013 at 1:45 pm #425014
So I’m not yet engaged or anything but my other half and I have discussed it and agree that it is definitely in our future. Unfortunately he has a few debts and we want to buy a home together and the idea of a wedding somewhere in all of that make’s it all look like a dream. He won’t let me help with his debt but we are making some head way on the home savings.
I have planning and budgeting issues (I tend to refer to it as ‘control freak’ syndrome) I have already started sort of planning out the different things I would like to have at my wedding (& I’m sure he will like them too). I actually thought to try and lighten the burden when the time comes and also so I can have all the things I would like on the day, I would start purchasing a few cheaper items that I would need/want for the day (stuff that will last obviously). Is this just insane? I’m I letting my control freak take over? Or is it ok? I don’t really want to discuss it with my partner ’cause he’ll just feel guilty (cause he’s got a bit of debt & I don’t) and I don’t want him too. Any advise would be greatly welcome – good or bad!
Thank you for your helpNovember 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm #425055
I am a total control freak myself so I understand how thinking, ‘we’ll if I just get this while it’s cheap, then i can tick it off the list for later….’ . My advice is to not but anything. Simply because right now you don’t know when your getting married, where your getting married or what the wedding will be like.
I’m currently planning my wedding and haven’t bought anything for my centrepieces yet even after seeing sales because I’m not 100% on everything. If you buy stuff now, there’s a good chance it won’t get used and will go to waste and you lose money.
many reception centres supply most things you need and I’ve found I’ve been gifted a lot of the Extra stuff (cake knife, guest book etc). Keep in mind ppl WANT to by stuff for you when you get engaged so keep in mind a lot of those extra things can be brough with gift vouchers or as gifts.
Another thing to keep in mind, everything basically always goes on sale, within the year or so that you are engaged you’ll find most stuff you need will be on sale at one point or another. So why not save the cash, earn interest on it, and buy it later once you know the when and the how and the where.December 28, 2013 at 11:39 pm #428851
I would advise against planning for a wedding that doesn’t exist yet, partly because you don’t know if the proposal will ever happen, or if your partner is ready to commit in that way. In the same way that you wouldn’t but a baby crib before you’d even planned on getting pregnant with a partner, a wedding is a joint decison a that reflects your relationship, not just one person’s ‘wedding dream’.
You may have completely different tastes, ideas, and traditions that need to be considered as a couple. You may want a bling wedding of 300 and he may want a simple civil ceremony with only close family.
I’m all for getting excited, but there’s a difference between bringing your own personalities into the big day, and bringing coveted monogrammed pens bought 12 months before you were even engaged.
December 30, 2013 at 3:06 pm #428862
Hi TJS, I was in the same boat as you about a year ago, but without the debt part. My fiance and I had already picked our wedding date, and were talking about getting engaged, and I went ahead and started buying things, a wedding album, a cake topper, little things that I loved and wouldn’t want to throw away. I would say to wait, because the wedding I wanted before I got engaged is completely different to the wedding I want now that I am! And I’ve heard of many stories on here of brides or bride-to-be’s buying things too early and changing their mind, or not liking it down the track, or it just doesn’t suit their theme, or finding something that looks so much better! My suggestion would be to grab one of those A4 artbooks, and every time you see something you like, print out a photo of it and write down where you found it and how much it costs, or any other info that goes along with it. Still makes planning easier down the track, because when you are ready to plan for the wedding you have a book of ideas that you know you already like and you can go through and pick which ones you really want. Pinterest is great as well, I was pinning things long before I got engaged, and just went through them later. So no problem planning, but buying too soon could end badly, but then again it might work, but you don’t really want to take the risk.
Have fun planning and pinning!January 9, 2014 at 6:41 pm #429462
Emerald Bride is right. Steph and I started by buying a scrapbook, a few magazines and cutting and pasting things we liked; we then went to a small expo and added mor to the book; after that we upgraded to Pinterest which means we can add and delete things depending on what directions we want to go in for things like styles, tips, DIY options, table settings, colour schemes, makeup… You name it!
Pinterest and having a little wedding scrapbook are great to get you into the swing of it, and let you picture the big day without splashing out on things that will damage your budget for the real thing. If you buy now and it doesn’t suit your final idea, that is an upgrade on dinner or a phto album, or nicer wedding dress gone.
July 15, 2014 at 1:53 pm #445820
Thank you ladies! It has taken me a bit of time (and unfortuantely a few buys) but I have come to realise that you are all very correct – I need to stop being so eager and just try and save the money. I will continue to pin everything I want for the day (Pinterest, it’s addictive!) and hopefully when the time comes I’ll have plenty saved up.
Thank you againJuly 17, 2014 at 8:03 pm #446180
Good luck! Hope it’s all going well!August 26, 2015 at 12:02 am #488337
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