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4 Day's into planning and I already hate it

Home Forums Bothered brides 4 Day's into planning and I already hate it

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  HappyG 2 years, 4 months ago.

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  • #446030

    Liesel
    Member

    For as long as I can rember and even before I have hated parties and wind up to events. From the time I was 2 until about 6 my mother had my birthday parties at McDonalds so that she could take me home half way through and leave the other kids to party. From 6-13 no parties, at 13, I hated it and I cried, so we tried again at 18, I hated it, got very drunk, cried and went to bed. So you can see the trend here, I just hate being the centre of attention. I’m outgoing and happy to chat to anyone, but centre of attention is not my thing.
    I hate that my little secret got out (I’m engaged), I’m everyones new play thing. So this bring s me to to my point. the point that after my mother got over her excitment she was very quick to ask if I was going to be ok with the wedding. So shuffle forward 4 days… Yep… 4 days in and im stressed about it.
    The wedding planning, I LOVE the planning, I manage big productions and lots of people for a living, organisation is my strength, but I’m hating the rest of it. I hate the though of spending the money (So, so, so much money), I’m hating the thought of being the centre of attention and I just want it to be done. I know what you are all thinking… elope, bail out! sounds Great, except for the fact that my husband to be has been best man no less than 5 times and he is “the last man standing” and its very important to him and he would be very dissapointed to not have a proper wedding.
    Any advice on how to survive, Also feel free to tell me to suck it up. :-)

    #446037

    Cas M
    Member

    You could always have a destination wedding! :p If it fits in with you, your fiancee and the families they work out cheap and it means only the most important people will be there. A nice sunset wedding in fiji or Bali would be incredible!
    Otherwise small and low key might be best for you, getting married and planning is hard enough without worrying about the attention.

    #446173

    Liesel
    Member

    Thanks, We are going to Cairns. :-) Luckily I have a very understand fiance who is incredibly good at difusing my neurocies. haha

    #446176

    HappyG
    Member

    It sounds like you’re getting way too caught up in it and letting the anxiety consume you. You need to re-frame the way you see your wedding day, it shouldn’t be about being the centre of attention; instead see it as a celebration of who you are as a couple. It should be a representation of you, so if you don’t like parties, have a quiet and intimate little get-together with close friends, family and a celebrant in a low-key location.
     
    Another thing I really have to emphasise is that you don’t have to live up to the expectations of others, and being in the wedding party of other people does not mean you have to compare yourselves against them or prove yourself. You don’t have to live up to a “last man standing” image, just do it your way.
     
    I would totally recommend that you look at Offbeat bride, they have some great articles from brides who feel similar reservations about their wedding, and I think you’ll get some great support from that community and get some awesome alternate perspectives.
     
     

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