Parents Paying, In-Laws Overstepping?

Clearly you're right, and your groom and his parents are being unreasonable (and a bit ungrateful). But how…

Clearly you’re right, and your groom and his parents are being unreasonable (and a bit ungrateful). But how to handle it without causing a major blowout? This is your future husband and in-laws, after all. You need to confront them calmly about this. Simply explain the facts: Your parents have volunteered to foot the bill for 100 guests, a majority of whom will not be people they know. You can’t ask them for any more than they are already giving — nor should you. If your fiancé and his family want to invite more guests, tell them they’re more than welcome to do so, as long as they are also willing to contribute the money to cover those guests for the reception. End of story. It’s difficult to imagine what kind of rational argument they could make against that. The key is that if you’re calm and rational, they will feel silly not being calm and rational about the situation. It’s all in the way you present it.

Official confrontation aside, it sounds like you need to have a good talk with your man too. Find out why he doesn’t understand that your parents are generous people but don’t have bottomless pockets. This misunderstanding could be a sign of very different attitudes toward money matters — which isn’t the end of the world, but it’s definitely an issue that will come up in your marriage. The sooner you can resolve this stuff between the two of you, the better off you’ll be. Good luck!

by The Knot



  1. i have/am experiencing this situation at the moment! my in laws confronted me (being the bride) why their son (being the groom) had a short guest list compared to mine, i explained to them because my parents are paying for the whole of our wedding so have had the right to invite more and whoever they want seeing as they are the “bank”. I couldn’t put it any “lightly” really, just had to go out and say it. my fiance’s parents have not paid for a single thing! their reply was very short but i did not push the issue anymore than that.

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